tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-89330146649060219132024-03-29T04:44:01.841+11:00Not Just CricketCricket, and just about anything else!The MGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14843150326026352938noreply@blogger.comBlogger60125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8933014664906021913.post-92159126409148964242011-01-05T18:53:00.001+11:002011-01-05T18:57:05.228+11:00Beer could be big factor: FlemingThis was among a list of Fox Sports headlines. Given that Australia's front-line spinner finished Day 3 with 1/85 from 29 overs, I assume Fleming must have been referring to Steve Davis' umpiring decisions.<br />
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I will be at the SCG again tomorrow, in Bay 27, if anyone feels like coming over to experience my particular brand of wackiness live. I'll be wearing a white Barmy Army t-shirt and probably a pair of red jeans.The MGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14843150326026352938noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8933014664906021913.post-70776727916464037352011-01-04T20:58:00.001+11:002011-01-04T20:59:54.034+11:00NightwatchmenI hate nightwatchmen. Like many, I'm sure. The concept is stupid, the execution is even more stupid and the whole thing is, overall, just...stupid. Today's major beef is that I think they negatively impact upon the batting of the proper batsman, by a) giving him one extra thing to think about and b) putting all run-scoring pressure onto the said batsman. Meanwhile, they're worse equipped to face difficult bowling (often in failing light).<br />
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And, if your nightwatchman gets out before stumps, do you bring in another? The case, based on the usual logic of using them, is even stronger now than when the first one came in. Where does the madness stop?The MGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14843150326026352938noreply@blogger.com83tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8933014664906021913.post-13236361909126827712011-01-04T20:43:00.002+11:002011-01-04T20:44:49.574+11:00A few notes, post Tea<ol><li><span lang="EN-AU">Johnson’s wayward legside deliveries are faster than Hilfenhaus’ wayward legside deliveries.</span></li>
<li><span lang="EN-AU">After Johnson finally managed to bowl a ball that could be reached by the bat (and that didn’t go to the boundary) Clarke clapped for an inordinate length of time, like an ignoramus during a brief pause in Sonata Pathetique.</span></li>
<li><span lang="EN-AU">VB is too dreadful to tempt even me.</span></li>
<li><span lang="EN-AU">One Indian mynah should be fined for multiple pitch invasions.</span></li>
<li><span lang="EN-AU">There are pigeons at the ground, so I’m glad I’m not listening to Henry Blofeld.</span></li>
<li><span lang="EN-AU">There is a slight delay between sights and sounds on the cricket pitch, making it look like a badly-dubbed movie.</span></li>
<li><span lang="EN-AU">Drinks breaks are a lot faster live.</span></li>
<li><span lang="EN-AU">Flying bails only look beautiful when the ball is bowled by my team.</span></li>
</ol><ul></ul><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-AU">(Strauss was just bowled for 60, by the way.)</span></div>The MGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14843150326026352938noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8933014664906021913.post-34703931331257319732011-01-04T20:39:00.001+11:002011-01-05T18:56:30.533+11:00Pre-Tea report, Day 2 at the SCG<span lang="EN-AU">I’m writing this at the SCG – although I won’t be able to post it until I get home as I have no internet access – and tea has just been called. What an excellent day of cricket watching so far! Watching Jimmy running in with the new ball (Aah! That’s Jimmy Anderson about 120m away from me!), Bell diving in the field and Straussy clobbering the Australian attack around the park is a wonderful way to spend the New Year. The morning rain that was promised has failed to deliver, I’m sitting in the Churchill stand close on as straight as I can get (around about straightish long-off to the right-hander) and I’m comfortable in the knowledge that England have already secured the Ashes.</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-AU">Strauss has gone to tea on 49, an innings which has so far included a magnificent pull for six and (in my opinion) and even better shot – the straightest of straight drives for four. Cook has accumulated and shouldered arms at the other end, playing a steady second fiddle to Strauss’ flamboyance (never really thought I’d describe his batting as flamboyant).</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-AU">However, the highlight of the day for me, so far, is when Paul Collingwood cleaned up Hussey’s stumps (admittedly off the bat and the pad). My favourite ginger cricketer just looked so happy, and I’m hoping he gets a hundred here so that if he retires, it will be on a high – or it could rescue his Test career! </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-AU">There are a few lowlights. Firstly, the partnership between Johnson and Hilfenhaus was allowed to build through Strauss playing to Johnson’s ‘farm-the-strike’ game and Bresnan and Tremlett bowling a few feet too short to induce edges. Second, the woman directing vehicle traffic at the entrance was incredibly rude and in need of a strong sedative (and muffler). Third, the food on offer was so dreadful I couldn’t bring myself to buy any and therefore went without lunch. I also generally get very pissed off with the SCG groundstaff – they take forever, prepare a pretty poor pitch and get all precious over their ground. Also, I’m about as far away from the Barmy Army as possible – although thankfully surrounded by jubiland England fans.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-AU">Anyway, 73/0 in reply to 280 and tea is at an end. My phone has run out of batteries so unfortunately I’ll be a bit quiet on the Twitter front (<a href="http://www.twitter.com/meikoelektra">@MeikoElektra</a>) and can’t listen to <a href="http://www.testmatchsofa.com/">Test Match Sofa</a>. However, I’m having a brilliant time and wouldn’t be anywhere else for the world!</span></div>The MGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14843150326026352938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8933014664906021913.post-69851378856758139512010-11-28T18:39:00.001+11:002010-11-28T18:43:40.405+11:00Do I dare to hope?No, of course I don't, stupid. I'm an England supporter. We are entirely bereft of hope most of the time, and don't dare to hope the rest of the time.<br />
<br />
However, I have been letting my imagination run away from me. In brief alcohol- and chocolate-fuelled moments, I have visualised how England could win this Test. Incredibly dangerous, I know, and I have surely doomed them to a resounding defeat. But here's how it could possibly go on Day 5 at the 'Gabba.<br />
<br />
Cook and Trott come out tomorrow morning and play themselves in for all of two overs before realising that the Australian attack are eminently hittable, and they clobber some quick runs. Cook eventually falls, followed by Trott in quick succession, bringing in a rampant KP and Collingwood who immediately start butchering the Aussies all over the park. Strauss, being slightly conservative, declares half way through the afternoon session, giving England a lead of around 280 and 45 overs to bowl Australia out. The match looks like it will be drawn.<br />
<br />
And sure enough, Katich and Watson get off to a pretty good start, before Twatto applies hair gel one too many times and Katich throttles him, getting himself arrested. Ponting comes and goes without a whimper, out lbw to Anderson.<br />
<br />
However, Clarke and Hussey put together a handy little partnership and, with an eyelash injury to Jimmy Anderson, it all looks over for England until Strauss has a moment of brilliance and calls upon Collingwood to bowl. Lo and behold, Colly's military medium can only be chipped to mid-off, where the ball falls safely into the hands of a gleeful twelfth man in Monty Panesar (on for Jimmy), giving Colly a hat-trick. Ponting throws a hissy fit at England's use of a sub fielder.<br />
<br />
A jubilant Mushtaq Ahmed dashes onto the field and starts doing the sprinkler with Monty, but is banished from the ground for his unofficially-sponsored Adidas beard, or for being Muslim or something (it is Queensland, after all). Nonetheless, in the dimming light, Finn comes on to clean up the last four wickets, getting himself ten for the match, England win by 87 runs with 5 overs to spare. Jimmy Anderson comes out onto the balcony and, misunderstanding the concept of a flash dance, gets his gear out and does the hokey-pokey, getting himself an instant Men of Cricket contract and becoming the face (and body) of the Mardi Gras.<br />
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A demoralised Australia go on to lose the Ashes 5-0, Ponting retires in tears, Katich is given life, Clarke becomes captain for one game before discovering his life dream of becoming a relationships guru and North is given the captaincy, proceeding to lead Australian cricket into the darkest era of its history.<br />
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This is all perfectly possible.The MGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14843150326026352938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8933014664906021913.post-18105896138335479572010-11-27T17:32:00.000+11:002010-11-27T17:32:47.210+11:00When wickets aren't what you really wantEngland have just bowled out Australia, and this is probably the worst possible situation for the team as they'll now have to bat for a good two days to make the match safe, which I can't see happening unless Ponting decides that he should use Marcus North and Michael Hussey as his frontline bowlers (which he might, being Ponting).<br />
<br />
I am trying to think of ways in which England could win this match, but my powers of imagination don't stretch that far. Cracks are appearing in the pitch. Cracks of doom.The MGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14843150326026352938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8933014664906021913.post-71110974318099460852010-11-27T16:36:00.000+11:002010-11-27T16:36:12.764+11:00Swanny gets a wicketToo damn late to make any difference, but it might be a sign of him bowling better in Australia's second innings. If they ever have to bat again.The MGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14843150326026352938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8933014664906021913.post-24027824454137252122010-11-27T15:41:00.001+11:002010-11-27T15:44:11.497+11:00Kill me nowSo much stuff has happened since I last posted. Mazhar Majeed, a century for Broad, Herschelle Gibbs' biography, Mickey Arthur's biography, the rise and rise of <a href="http://www.testmatchsofa.com/">Test Match Sofa</a> (who may be on the verge of world domination) and so on.<br />
<br />
Day 3 at the Gabba, and all is going to shit. As we knew deep down it would. I'm trying to convince myself otherwise but we are well and truly fucked and it turned out to be a hedgehog, not a gerbil. Perhaps this is the one forgettable match, like Headingley was in 2009, but despite the excellent work of Jimmeh with the ball, I am fast losing hope.<br />
<br />
So, kill me now. Let me die in peace, without having to see the repulsive face of a celebrating Ricky Ponting. It's tea now; lace it with cyanide, please.The MGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14843150326026352938noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8933014664906021913.post-82307508500938880372010-08-27T20:28:00.001+10:002010-08-27T20:30:35.347+10:00Oh rubbishEngland are 47/5 and Collingwood and Prior are out. Trott and Prior remain the only hopes. My love for Test Match Sofa can only stretch so far.<br />
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Still, it's better focusing on this than on the current Australian election. When a third of your hopes lie in the lap of Bob Katter, you should be worried.The MGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14843150326026352938noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8933014664906021913.post-45693941799991807832010-08-27T20:13:00.001+10:002010-08-27T20:29:42.748+10:00England are in troubleAnd being the sulk I am, I'm seriously considering switching off the radio. Or would be, if Test Match Sofa weren't so entertaining. However, England are in a quagmire at the moment, with Strauss and Pietersen in the sheds (Cook is a free wicket anyway - they'd be better off opening with Jimmy Anderson). Our hopes lie with Trott, Collingwood and Prior, and resistance from the tail to make a decent score. Followed up by brilliant bowling and some helpful conditions. I'm clutching at straws, I know. Anyway, it's given me something to blog about, albeit briefly.<br />
<br />
A referral. Pakistan may have Collingwood out LBW. Bother.The MGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14843150326026352938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8933014664906021913.post-33216877337555951792010-08-26T20:37:00.000+10:002010-08-26T20:37:52.449+10:00Fiddle-dee-deeIt was raining at Lords. I became bored. I fiddled around with the design of my blog. I'll hate it in a few hours, but at the moment I'm happy.The MGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14843150326026352938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8933014664906021913.post-84900546033448574752010-08-26T19:45:00.001+10:002010-08-26T20:38:35.495+10:00They're thieves, they're thieves, they're filthy little thievesssss<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_9Ne-rl8lpQw/THY3lbzhRHI/AAAAAAAAAD8/pNP7qoSRHQI/s1600/cricinfo.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_9Ne-rl8lpQw/THY3lbzhRHI/AAAAAAAAAD8/pNP7qoSRHQI/s320/cricinfo.bmp" /></a></div>The MGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14843150326026352938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8933014664906021913.post-35849871194366122662010-08-22T13:17:00.000+10:002010-08-22T13:17:29.185+10:00I'm backThere have been many instances in history and mythology of people returning from the dead. Lazarus. Jesus. El Cid. Frankenstein. Dracula. Mohammad Yousuf. Mohammad Asif. Most of the Pakistan team, in fact. But none of these startling returns matches this one. No one could have been less likely to return to this existence than me. Unless Younis Khan comes back, that is.<br />
<br />
Anyway, I'm back, I love youse all, and I'm going to stand up, move this blog forward in the most fair dinkum way possible to make sure all blog readers get a fair shake of the sauce bottle. Yes I will. Sorry, post-election trauma. I'll try to make sure that doesn't happen again.<br />
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I'm not sure how long this revival will last, or if it's like Luigi Galvani's frog. (*BZZZ* "I'm alive, I'm alive! Oh, I'm not.) Or, alternatively, Shahid Afridi's return to Test cricket. But, while I'm here, I'd better make the best of it and bite some balls, play some loose shots and make a few more enemies. I hope you are entertained but, if not, I'll carry on anyway.The MGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14843150326026352938noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8933014664906021913.post-11139673291952732752010-03-02T20:19:00.003+11:002010-03-02T20:21:43.481+11:00The death of cricketIt's official, folks. Cricket is on it's deathbed. Or on death row, perhaps. Rather than choosing a young, innovative go-getter to breathe life back into all formats, John Winston Howard, whom I assume might appreciate some of the views declared by a certain member of the public in my last post, has been voted President of the ICC.<br />
<br />
Yes, the man who couldn't get a ball to reach the batsman, who lost his seat and the election catastrophically (for him) in 2007, who brought us fabrications such as "Children Overboard" and the affirmation of WMDs in Iraq, IR laws and other measures against freedom and equality and claimed that apologising to the Stolen Generation was an act of navel-gazing (rather, it was a rather ugly bit of history that he'd rather not think about).<br />
<br />
Still, the clock's ticking, John. 2012 is a long way away for an old chap like you.<br />
<br />
Meanwhile, it's time to start investing in Akubra hats, as I'm sure his first action will be to make them part of a mandatory dress code at the cricket.The MGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14843150326026352938noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8933014664906021913.post-82132466525701069192010-03-02T20:01:00.003+11:002010-03-02T20:20:54.936+11:00AngryThat's what I am after the racist rubbish spouted by 70s rock has-been and Channel 9 "social issues advocate" (ah, the irony!) Gary "Angry" Anderson, who claims that weapons culture is not an Australian thing and was introduced by Lebanese, Pacific Islander and "Indochinese" immigrants. Setting aside the mindbogglingly ignorant racial classification of "Indochinese", which would include over half the world's population and a huge variety of cultures, the disgusting whiff of bygone eras (think Cronulla riots) that it brings and the terrifying "justification" that it might give to further attacks on Indian students and other non-Anglo visitors and migrants, Angry seems to have no evidence except for a claim that 'there was practically no weapons culture 20 years ago'. That'd be around 1990, a time not only of demographic change but also music subculture change in Australia. Could it possibly be that this rise in weapons-related violence started with 70s foetuses being subjected to <i>Rose Tattoo </i>while in the womb?<br />
<br />
Now, those of you who know me will know that I like research. They will also know that I get pissed off at unfounded claims, especially when those claims are directly or indirectly harmful to a person or group of people. Therefore I will be conducting my own research into the matter, correlating and comparing data across Australia and attempting to determine whether there is any <i>significant causal</i> evidence that these cultures are to blame for weapons-related violence in Australia. My hypothesis? No. However, it takes a good deal more time to do thorough research than it does to spout out unfounded claptrap, so it might be a little while before I can present my findings here. Hopefully I'll have it done before the end of March, though.<br />
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It's not the first time Angry has inflicted his small-minded views on public society, however. According to Wikipedia (who quote from that pinnacle of Australian written journalism, <i>The Daily Telegraph</i>*), Angry went on an anti-Muslim rant in 2007. What a lovely bloke. What a representative of Australia, and the values we hold dear.<br />
<br />
<div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">*A Rupert Murdoch-owned Australian tabloid paper similar in views and quality to Channel 9. There are claims it censors any comments to its articles that criticise quality, conservative governments, the police and military. It features such columnists as Piers Akerman, who has had numerous workplace sexual harassment charges levelled against him, as well as an assault charge by the former editor of the <i>Advertiser</i> and is a climate change denier. My opinion is it is enough to turn the most balanced person to become a member of Socialist Alternative, sleep with a photo of Karl Marx under their pillow and spend every waking hour reading Thoreau's <i>Walden</i>. I refer to it as <i>The Daily Terrorgraph</i>.</span></div>The MGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14843150326026352938noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8933014664906021913.post-90834339758581440062010-03-01T22:03:00.001+11:002010-03-01T22:06:43.286+11:00Coincidence? I think not...<div style="text-align: justify;">A little non-cricket-related post.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">One of my favourite books (and films) happens to be The Outsiders. For those who haven't heard about it, it is a story about a bunch of young disadvantaged kids in a town in Oklahoma, the "greasers", and their battle against the priveledged "soc's" (pronounced "soshes") as they struggle to accept the place they hold in society. That's a really rotten summary so I suggest you Google a better one. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Anyway, one of the key elements of the book is a Robert Frost poem that is quoted by one of the characters, <em>Nothing Gold Can Stay</em>. It goes:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><blockquote><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Nature's first green is gold</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Her hardest hue to hold.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Her early leaf's a flower;</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">But only so an hour.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Then leaf subsides to leaf.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">So Eden sank to grief,</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">So dawn goes down to day.<br />
Nothing gold can stay.</span></div></blockquote><div style="text-align: justify;">As the plot of the book moves along, the poem gains meaning for the characters as they see it representing the humanity that they have to hold onto. The main character, Ponyboy, is told to "stay gold" in a posthumous letter from a friend. Anyway, the whole green/gold thing is rather symbolic of the story.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">A few weeks ago, just after re-reading The Outsiders, I decided to hunt up some more songs from one of my favourite bands, an Irish-American folk/country group called Solas. While they've somewhat moved away from their Irish roots in their latest album, <em>The Edge of Silence</em>, they did feature a great cover of a song called <em>Georgia Lee.</em> Now, I must admit that I'd never heard of the song before and didn't know who it was by or what it was about. After a little bit of research, I found out it was written by Tom Waits and featured on his album <em>Mule Variations.</em> It's based on the true story about a twelve-year-old runaway African-America girl, Georgia Lee Moses, who was kidnapped and murdered in Petaluma, California in 1997. The case has never been solved. The final verse before the chorus runs:</div><blockquote><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">There's a toad in the witch grass, there's a crow in the corn</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Wild flowers on a cross by the road</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">And somewhere a baby is crying for her mom</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">As the hills turn from green back to gold</span></div></blockquote><div style="text-align: justify;">Anyway, that green and gold bit made me connect it to The Outsiders - innocence, disadvantaged kids, dead disadvantaged kids and all that - so I grabbed the Outsiders movie (made in 1983) and rewatched it. And what name should I see in the credits, playing a very minor character? Tom Waits.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Not only that, two days later I rewatch Shrek 2, to discover that the song <em>A Little Drop Of Poison</em> (that one sung by Captain Hook in the dodgy inn) is sung by Tom Waits. So, if my head seems a little bit weird it's because some alien force is trying to manipulate my mind to see connections everywhere.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Doing research on Georgia Moses was hard - there's barely any information on the murder outside the song and she doesn't even have a stub article on Wikipedia - and it's rather appalling to see the difference in the quantity of coverage of her murder in comparison to the murder of a twelve-year-old white girl in Petaluma, in 1993, of which Richard Allen Davis was convicted. Even more press was given to the unsolved murder of six-year-old beauty pageant JonBenet Ramsey, who was found strangled in her parents' basement just after the Christmas of 1996. They reopened the case last year. It's interesting reading. Do a bit of research on the foundation her parents set up as well - it might raise a few eyebrows.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">So, I know you've probably not bothered reading this because it's not cricket and it probably doesn't make any sense at all, but I've enjoyed writing it. All this does is confirm that great Orwellian quote that "some are more equal than others". Which reminds me of a story hanging round the press recently, the arrest (finally) of Roman Polanski. But that's for another day, I've run out of rant.</div>The MGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14843150326026352938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8933014664906021913.post-19563751953244735902010-02-15T22:54:00.002+11:002010-02-15T23:00:12.920+11:00A picture to projectile-vomit to<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://static.cricinfo.com/db/PICTURES/CMS/114100/114124.2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ct="true" src="http://static.cricinfo.com/db/PICTURES/CMS/114100/114124.2.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Seriously, I'm struggling to work out who's who here. I'd been informed that Mrs Bracken was hot, but I'm not sure I agree. Sure, her body is well-shaped thanks to a strict diet and those very obviously enhanced objects that look like they've been plonked on the front of her chest, but she has the face of a sixty-year-old from the depths of Sydney's eastern suburbs. If this were a beauty contest, I think I would be giving Bracks the winner's sash, although there's room for improvement with that haircut (which I believe is done by Mrs B).</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">And, golly, who designed that dress?</div>The MGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14843150326026352938noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8933014664906021913.post-24417536854776401082010-02-10T00:01:00.000+11:002010-02-10T00:01:28.926+11:00Just a quick oneI've been run off my feet with work of late, so I haven't had any time for blogging. The resumption of Test cricket after a short pause has helped spark this post, and I'd just like to congratulate Dale Steyn on doing what players often fail at and walking the talk by snatching a ten-fer in the first Test against India. It was brilliant, inspired bowling. Or so it seemed from the Cricinfo commentary, which as you probably know isn't the last word on accuracy and objectivity, although vastly superior to anything Channel 9 could manage to excrete.<br />
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Back in this hemisphere, Doug Bollinger is getting wickets and the West Indies are losing. I wish he'd forget how to bowl. Maybe I could bribe his mum to go to the papers with some melodrama-soap-opera story (about his wig, and how she hates that he cares more about his hair than her) and he has a mental implosion <em>a la</em> Mitchell Johnson. But it won't happen, because Doug's not that kind of guy.The MGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14843150326026352938noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8933014664906021913.post-28722064551650928582010-01-24T11:10:00.001+11:002010-01-24T12:39:01.049+11:00Off to the SCG todayAnd I'm going to be doing my patriotic duty by cheering against Ponting, as usual. However, Pakistan better turn up, because I will be <b>very, very</b><i> </i>pissed off if I have to pay $85 to watch Australia win. Especially if the win is orchestrated by Ricky himself, or the world's biggest bogan Cameron White.<br />
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I'm off to pack the sandwiches and organise the water. Hopefully it doesn't rain.The MGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14843150326026352938noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8933014664906021913.post-8956529454996974372010-01-15T22:28:00.007+11:002010-01-15T22:36:44.035+11:00REVEALED: England players are Nelson's men in disguise<div style="text-align: left;">I've been aware of this since the 2005 Ashes and my first view of the lad who claims his name is Ian Bell (fake name if I ever saw one, by a lazy imposter who can't be bothered with more letters) but I've kept it a secret. Until now. The England cricket team has been infiltrated by Napoleonic British officers and crew, in an attempt to channel some of the glory of the Battle of Trafalgar into a series win worthy of an open-top bus parade to Trafalgar Square.<br />
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Here it is, for the first time - Nelson's men in whites. Or at least Forester's Nelson's men in whites:<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_9Ne-rl8lpQw/S1Ax1uNYVkI/AAAAAAAAAC4/-c4WNkagxBI/s1600-h/IanArchieBellKennedy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ps="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_9Ne-rl8lpQw/S1Ax1uNYVkI/AAAAAAAAAC4/-c4WNkagxBI/s320/IanArchieBellKennedy.jpg" /></a><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">LT ARCHIE KENNEDY AND IAN BELL</span><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Just like Bell can't score a century without someone else in the team doing it first, the sweet-natured Kennedy doesn't do well in battle unless Hornblower's around to save the day. When Midshipman Simpson bullies the young Kennedy, he suffers from fits, echoing Bell's averse reaction to hearing the name Shane Warne.<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_9Ne-rl8lpQw/S1A6UdzhjxI/AAAAAAAAADA/He01v5XDNRc/s1600-h/RyanStylesSidebottom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ps="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_9Ne-rl8lpQw/S1A6UdzhjxI/AAAAAAAAADA/He01v5XDNRc/s320/RyanStylesSidebottom.jpg" /></a><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">CREWMAN STYLES AND RYAN SIDEBOTTOM</span><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">One scruffy, frizzy-haired, rat-chewing Yorkshireman. One scruffy, frizzy-haired Yorkshireman who may or may not chew rats (I don't know, but I should keep an eye out). If Sidebottom is anything like Styles, he's loyal, a bit of a rogue and slightly useless.<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_9Ne-rl8lpQw/S1BDeXSmBNI/AAAAAAAAADY/9bcRJDM_l2o/s1600-h/PaulMatthewsCollingwood.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ps="true" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_9Ne-rl8lpQw/S1BDeXSmBNI/AAAAAAAAADY/9bcRJDM_l2o/s320/PaulMatthewsCollingwood.jpg" /></a><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">PAUL COLLINGWOOD AND CREWMAN MATTHEWS</span><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Despite their being a slight age difference in these photos, Matthews and Colly have a lot in common. Gritty, always willing to take one for the team and yet forever keeping a low profile when the cameras are around, you can imagine that Matthews favourite stroke with the oar was definitely the nurdle.<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_9Ne-rl8lpQw/S1BE_tl5uBI/AAAAAAAAADg/G0o96ZAvpOs/s1600-h/MichaelWilliamBushVaughan.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ps="true" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_9Ne-rl8lpQw/S1BE_tl5uBI/AAAAAAAAADg/G0o96ZAvpOs/s320/MichaelWilliamBushVaughan.jpg" /></a><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">LT WILLIAM BUSH AND CAPT MICHAEL VAUGHAN</span><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Both Bush and Vaughan were men who showed attention to detail and kept a cool head in battle, while their more brash colleagues took centre stage (not always in a positive way). They both had receding hairlines and semi-mullets, and spent time campaigning in the West Indies, but somehow I can't imagine Bush toting a designer manbag, although that might have been because he couldn't afford one after paying for silver shoe-buckles.<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_9Ne-rl8lpQw/S1BOWPkLl_I/AAAAAAAAADw/w5kzLvubvqE/s1600-h/AlastairHoratioCookHornblower.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ps="true" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_9Ne-rl8lpQw/S1BOWPkLl_I/AAAAAAAAADw/w5kzLvubvqE/s320/AlastairHoratioCookHornblower.jpg" /></a><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"></span> <span style="font-size: x-small;">HORATIO HORNBLOWER AND ALASTAIR COOK</span><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Excessive dark locks, thick black eyebrows, facial structure, ears, nose, mascara... there is no doubt that Alastair Cook is Hornblower in whites. As it seems that the English cricket team are determined to shape this young man as a captain, I think that England fans can relax in the knowledge that the team is in competent hands. As long as he doesn't get seasick, that is.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><img border="0" ps="true" src="http://seangilder.tripod.com/images/motleycrew.jpg" /><span style="font-size: x-small;"></span><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">THE ENGLISH CRICKET TEAM LAND ON FOREIGN SHORES</span><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I spy Andy Flower in need of a hair transplant, and Luke Wright. <em>Or is it Freddie</em>?<br />
</div>The MGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14843150326026352938noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8933014664906021913.post-83696523853358038612010-01-15T19:43:00.000+11:002010-01-15T19:43:40.306+11:00Never leave out the onions!Graham Onions really is like onions. That wonderful bulb is almost always on hand to rescue a lacklustre recipe from tasting like wet sawdust, and likewise Onions is usually there for England, rescuing them from lacklustre performances that leave them floundering in the dust. However, Onions (of any kind) was left out of this game, and consequently England were out for 180 and a barely-fit Sidebottom really isn't looking threatening at all.<br />
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Never leave out the Onions. And if England live to fight another day, they must remember that Onions can provide much more flattering headlines for them than a hairy Yorkshireman whose name suggests that he has his anatomy all mixed up.The MGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14843150326026352938noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8933014664906021913.post-91175295123817293652010-01-13T19:50:00.000+11:002010-01-13T19:50:11.151+11:00No I was not clobbered to death by my irate countrymen...They just seem to have reduced my internet speed to prevent my anti-Australian-cricket blogging. It is currently running about as fast as Inzamam-ul-Haq but should be back to usual speeds when the match starts. <br />
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Kamran Akmal has been dropped. Now he knows how the ball feels.The MGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14843150326026352938noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8933014664906021913.post-12576823741206274092010-01-08T19:11:00.002+11:002010-01-15T19:44:19.011+11:00England, my dear EnglandCould you please stop doing this to me? I know you're trying to keep Test cricket alive, and you're doing a great job of it, but you'll run out of fans pretty quickly because we'll all be dead from heart attacks. Does it have to be nine down and Onions or Monty in every time? Can't you keep these performances for special occasions, rather than making them part of your repertoire?<br />
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By the way, if I was going to back any man to face the most balls in the innings in trying to eke out a draw, the last man I would have said would be Bell. I would have said Onions over Bell. Even Prior. But Belly it was - 218 balls for 76 runs and he proved that he's not always a completely useless bunny. Collingwood I expected to stick around, it's his role to rescue England from final innings collapses.<br />
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And Steyn. WAG. His bowling yesterday was proof that he is indeed the best quick bowler in the world.<br />
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Now, off to the Wanderers, and hoping for a nice, comfortable England win or draw. Even a nice, comfortable South African win. Anything but a final day stress-a-thon, please...The MGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14843150326026352938noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8933014664906021913.post-74570629259821464342010-01-07T23:15:00.000+11:002010-01-07T23:15:10.907+11:00Shhh...I really can't say what I'm thinking, or I'll put the mockers on England. Any real blogging will be done after the match - I'm still feeling the trauma of Sydney.The MGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14843150326026352938noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8933014664906021913.post-47834910133680560032010-01-06T20:54:00.001+11:002010-01-06T20:55:13.404+11:00Get some close fielders in, RadleyStrauss thinks that he'll somehow get the South Africans out by boring them into mad batting. He obviously has never watched a Jacques Kallis innings. Stop giving them easy singles, Straussy - England need wickets, and fast.<br />
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My man AB de Villiers is in at the moment, but I hope he gets out for nothing. England comes first.The MGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14843150326026352938noreply@blogger.com4